Letting Michael go

Its summer before the cast comes off.  Were always eating, talking.  Shadows on the lawn of empire come longingly, forewarned.  I put my name on the ground.  I look up.  She drives me to the beach. 

“I don’t know what to say to you.”

I nod.

“We are leaving the world behind.”  Its dark but it is not dark.  Each step tells me the ground hides under these waves and on out to the end of the sea and forever.  I have never had to explain things to her.  “Bring yourself.” I tell her.  Bring yourself because I cannot.

“I will stop everything if you tell me you are my brother.”

“I used to need to Justin.  And you don’t have to stop anything.”

I tell myself I will start smoking.  Those things, those worlds we were, I am not the greatest thing in the sky anymore.  This is ok too.  We talk about the woman she loves.  We tell weeks of stories in wordless noise and gesture and laugh.  The city brings us back, places us in ourselves and us in it. 

This always ends in a driveway, outside a door, practiced over decades only in that it comes again and again, the opening of a door, the noise, the TV, the relative, the hurried news, the look in the fridge, the smell of the laundry on the floor, the look across the room at her where we both still hold the universe of worlds we travel even now, in this each others eyes.  We will always be ourselves.  Can never be something else.  I love you Michael.  I am letting go.  Good morning.  I miss you.

...because you are still able to hide from yourself.”

I take my sisters to the grave again.  We stand awkward, they believing, showing somehow with bends of elbow, knee, foot, neck, that we come here too much, that I ask them, that we all go up this hill to where I buried my brother.

“It’s not like he’s there you know, you do know that right” Kayla says to me.  I know.  Kasha touches her to say no, to disapprove of what Kay said without using words.  To say she hit her would not be telling the truth, but she hit her.  Kayla tells her no.

“I was never there.  Not enough.” 

“He’s still here.” Kayla tells me, says that my brother, like the force, is all around us, in us, alive. 

The things we take from each other, words, mannerisms, mostly people have taken from me though it feels prideful to say such a thing, to acknowledge it., those things are no more the life than a photo, a memory, copy of the story he wrote about us dying.  He mostly lives in Kayla now.  You could say they are the same person, we all have beliefs.  In my world he rides high skys in white, hair, beauty, bare hands and feet, gods own sword, him alone trusted with that strength, smiling, so far above us all, so fucking beautiful.

“I love you.” I tell the small hump of earth where I have laid the Lillie and planted the Popsicle stick cross, fitting grave for a gold fish, a farie, my brother.

“I’m not coming again.” Kayla says walking back down the hill.  She says it to us both but mostly to Kasha, I have stopped listening to hear.  Kasha is crying and puts her hand on my arm to come.  I hold the barbed wire apart for them.  The rage has gone.  Back, settled, the silt of my cup, the only cup. 

“This is such bullshit.”  She is a fighter.  A different truth.  She will not hide our pain, my pain, build walls around it, worship in it like me in my church of willow, sandstone and dark.

We are eating.  Kasha is happy.  I am lost.  Kayla see’s us both with a lens not real.  I did not think I was broken.  She will not give us wings.  I have never seen her fly away, I swear, I have never seen her fly away from us.

“Do you know why it’s not hell...

God Wicked Hate Love Sacrifice

*disclaimer.  The penultimate douche in this picture has impeccable handwriting, but cannot quote verse for shit.

So, here are like a bunch of things that God hates with verses listed for the Doubting Tomas’s of the world.

1. Homosexual acts (Leviticus 18:22).  I love that God does not hate gays, just the ass-fucking of men by other men.  Although, there is more room for interpretation here as in most things biblical, but pretty much you can be sure he hates guys playing with other guys junk, enough said.  I do not think women can be homosexual.  I think women are beautiful and attractive to everything that has blood in it.  Women loving women and making out with each other is just a natural and good thing, makes everything better, doesn’t count as homosexuality, just sayin.

2. Bestiality (Leviticus 18:23).  Wow, Levi, what kind of crew were you leading around in the dessert, and again with the separation of the doer from the deed, very progressive for BC 1,000 +/- 4,000.  Just goes to show you how long we been doin stuff, sucks that pig fucking has got such a bad rap in the last ?,000 years.

3. Idols, and the materials used to make idols (Deuteronomy 7:25).  So, like, gold?  Pretty sure they are made out of all sorts of shit.  Wait, this probably means the specific materials used to create the idol, like say, some priest somewhere says, ‘hey, that Idol is bullshit, give it to me, God hates this shit, I’ll get rid of it’, wink wink..  then suddenly that priest is rollin in a benzo and rockin some Armani robes and shit.  Here is the first disconnect though, here we are seeing God hating a rock versus the act of worshiping it..  I’m not sayin, I’m just sayin, it’s a tough stand to be jealous of an inanimate object, but then again, I hate chalk.

4. Blemished sacrifices (Deuteronomy 17:1)  Thou shalt not fuck up the killin of your son or goat or anything, like sick animals and shit, sick animal sacrifices means sick priests because the priests, as gods self-appointed representatives, get all the shit “sacrificed” to god.  They ate all the prime rib and veal parmigiano they could and had some bitchin jewelry too I bet.  They should say “re-gifted” it makes more sense and is more accurate.  We don’t need to talk about how much God hates people who make priests sick with mad cow and bovine encephalitis in their re-gifted heifers.  I can hear them now, "God, we gotta do something with Herman, he keeps sacrificing those wormy old sheep, Nate over there is shitting what looks like a sea anenome, and Carl foams, thats it, he just foams."  "Alright Aaron, I'll see what I can do."  "Oh, yeah, and as long as its 'to you' you know, wink wink, can it be ok to sacrifice cars and homes and shit?"  "fuck no."  "Oh, ok, well, can we call it something else then, like tithe?"  "Hey, thats a good Idea, only, when my kid rolls down there for you guys to torture and kill, lets set it up so they have to give everything they posess to get saved."  "Booya God!  Thats what I'm saying, we do all the work, sweeping this place and shit and lighting a fire to cook our food once a week, its about time!  You hear that Nate?"  "erunhhhh.  Its, ooh, it won't come out."  "Dude, stop dragging your ass along the floor, Nate, Hey Nate, look at me, Nate, its not an it, its a colony of worms.  Your pretty much fucked, sorry."  "It itches.  alot."  "I bet." 

5. Worshipping the sun, moon or stars (Deuteronomy 17:3-4)  So, here, he does not hate the sun moon or stars (probly cuz he made ‘em) but hates the worship of them.  Comets, asteroids, kuiper belt objects, alien craft, dyson spheres, black holes, and obviously not meteors, cuz all crazy fucking Arabs worship meteors.  We can assume it is not ok to worship other solar systems or galaxies because they contain those non worshipable things (suns, moons & stars). And just so you know, there are like eleven more thing in Deuteronomy, mainly chapter 18, that has shit that’s hated by God in it.  It should be renamed Hateronomy.  It’s the second biggest ‘Hater’ book of the bible.  You guessed it, Proverbs is the Hate-tank weighing in with 15 specific Hates.  Btw, Deuteronomy is a Greek word Δευτερονόμιον, meaning "second law" they kind of liberally translated the Hebrew word Devarim, meaning "(spoken) words".  They pretty much titled the book (scroll) whatever the first line was, you can just see it, they had five fucking books to read.  Old fucker pulls out scroll, starts by saying.. “These are the fucking words of the kicker of all assess…” two kids in back (Tony and I) say, “Oh, I like this one!”  Makes sense that there be hate in the book named “listen the fuck up, this is the law and shit!”  Plus, their worship is kind of a waste as the sun is gonna rock down tans on everyone, even baby killers, so don’t waste your time.

6. Divination (Deuteronomy 18:10)  Now, this is where my AD&D brain kicks in.  Fuckin divnination?  How are we gonna find out what that fucking potion is cuz I know none of us are going to drink it..  But really, is divination real?  Like when old Wilbur Whatley takes to the field with his divining rod looking for water, God is like, “Ooh I HATE it when he does that!”  Because, like, what’s the difference between that and just guessing?  Fuckin Divination, that’s an entire school of magic.  Notice he is down with Alteration and Invocation.  We tried Divination to win the lotto in High School, got close, was not magic, it was guessing.  Got Hates guessers?

7. Astrology (Deuteronomy 18:10)  So, here is where we start to get contemporary (not counting homosexual acts which has pretty much always been around, and bestiality, which, well, I am pretty sure as long as there has been a pig, there has been a guy that has wanted to fuck it.  Oh and btw, like, there is a shit ton of women on line sucking horse dicks and getting totally corn holed by horses…  And, well, I really hate that too.)  Astrology..  Yeah, that means Horoscopes, saying you’re a Sagittarius or that your fucking moon is in Leo, in fact, I bet when God leaned down and said, “hey, you!  Grab a pen, ok? Ready? Ok, Deutoronomy.  No, not duteronomy, put an e in it.  No, at the beginning.  No, not eduteronomy, that’s stupid, put it right after the d.  yeah I am sure.  Listen, just do it.” He says like, “calendars are astrology, Moses, or whoever the fuck you are, I forget sometimes, anyways, don’t even look up into the sky ok.  Just, just fucking farm and keep your nose down, stop counting shit and trying to plant shit at the right times, just ask me or use your gut, no wait, that’s divination, just ask me, I’ll answer, I promise.”  And Moses or whoever the fuck was like, “um, so, like, can I work for a day’s wages??  How am I gonna pay my slaves?  Should I go to sleep when I am tired or when the sun goes down??” and I can hear God saying, “Fuckin, just do what I say!  Just fucking count shit but don’t give it meaning!”  “Um, like, how are we gonna escape basic math?”  “ I mean it Moses, I’ll kill everyone again if you keep asking questions!”  “Um, God, I just, so like, I can’t be happy it’s Friday?  I mean, how will I know it’s the Sabbath if I don’t keep track of days and ascribe meaning and, oh shit, God, is that fucking brimstone?  God, wtf!  Everybody,  run!!”

8. Enchanters (Deuteronomy 18:10)  “All rise, Judge Judy presiding.  Both parties have been sworn in.  You may take your seats.”  “Whats this?  It says that Ms. Miller enchanted the fuck out of Mrs. Lowenbrow’s husband and got him to give her many ass fuckings?  Is this true Ms. Miller?”  “Yes your honor, I enchanted the fuck out of him…”  “Well, God hates you.”  “Yes he does your Honor.”  So like, now God is hating the doer and not the deed.  So like, Enchanters must be some real tools if god breaks his bestiality and homosexuality, Deed versus Doer rule and goes straight for the throat on these fools.  I kind of wonder if it did not say Enchantress’s in earlier versions.  And here we go again all AD&D, and no more fucking magic weapons or potions or any fucking thing.  How are we gonna kill wraiths huh?  I can see some little tent in a bazar in prehistoric whereverthefuck and some smoking hot mustached Arab woman with these great tassels on her nipples is like, “I have enchantments, 100gp for enchantments”, and I am like, “SOLD!” and go get like a five hour lap dance dirty-style.  So like, what’s getting enchanted?   Do they mean Doctor?  Pharmascist?  I think they mean psychologist, or motivational speaker actually, now that I have given it some thought I bet Tony Robbins is an enchanter.  Hear that Tony Robbins?  God fucking hates you!  Lol!  So but like, god leans down after the super bowl and says, “Hey, fuck, I hate Enchanters!  Round up all the Enchanters or I flood this shit hole again..”  “Wow, Bill, did that just fucking happen?”  “Yes Ron, that just happened.”  “Are you sure it wasn’t part of the Half-Time show?”  “Yes Ron, I am sure, They can’t say ‘fuck’, ‘hate’ or ‘shit hole’ during the half-time show.”  “Dude, Bill, what the fuck are Enchanters and where are we gonna find some so we don’t get Bird flu on the Princess Cruise line.”  “Ron, I have no fucking idea.”  “We are so fucked if we do not scare up some Enchanters.”  “Yes we are Ron, yes we are.”

9. Witches (Deuteronomy 18:10)  I really wish this said Bitches, but I love my bitches yo.  So these witches must be the 4HD type, you know like Hag’s and shit.  Or like midwives, or again, proto-doctors, proto-drug dealers, pre-Pfizer dick hardeners.  Witches fucking rule, I am sorry.  I wish there were witches for real.  I would love that shit, half my paycheck would go to witches, the other half to enchantresses.  And again, it’s the person not the crime when it comes to witches.  God hates Cher, Susan Sarandon and that other one who did that shitty remake of Grease, Pfifer(sp)?  At least he is schilling the hate to Haiti where I am pretty sure if you said “Alright, if you’re a doctor, raise your hand.”  (no hands)  “ok, if you’re a witch, raise your hand”  (ten hands raise).  “Ok, ok, that’s good, now were getting somewhere.  You young lady, you raised your hand, what do you do as a witch?”  “Mostly hand-jobs, make crude Pepto-Bismol, tell these other bitches that their man is fucking around on them, tell people what they want to hear for money, occasionally, I put mud on burns and sow pussy tears shut after these children get pregnant by their fathers.”  “Oh, Ok, Well, not sure why God hates some of that, but, well, he does, so just knock it off ok?”  “Uh, no?”  

10. Charmers (Deuteronomy 18:11)  Hmm.  All I am getting is Snake Charmers cuz I am pretty sure god does not hate Prince Charming because that would make God a douche.  So he hates those little (east)Indian boys who play that obnoxious recorder thing and drag cobras around in the filth so they can pay their pimp.  And probably the Thai boys who stick their heads in Alligator mouths too.  Oh yeah and people who put their fingers on chicken heads and shit and make them go to sleep?  And this is totally AD&D talking again but isn’t Enchantment/Charm the official name of the school of magic?  At first I thought God hated all this shit cuz of the 1d4 thing, which is why everyone hates them, but I am certain it goes deeper.  Maybe he means hypnotists?  Eh, I don’t think so, they had hypnotism back then and so he would probably say, he hates the practice of making people think they are chickens.

11. Wizards (Deuteronomy 18:11)  I got ya on this one God, I fucking hate Wizards too.  I hate the pinball Wizard and the ride The Wizard that makes me puke my shit every time that carnies roll it into town.  I hate Gandolf for getting EVERYONE killed needlessly.  I hate the Wizard of OZ.  I hate the Wizards of Waverly place.  I hate Wizard City.  I hate Wizards of the Coast.  I hate Wizard in Glass and Stephen for writing it.  I hate Electric Wizard.  I hate the Pill Identification Wizard and a shit ton of other wizards too.  I fuckin HATE wizards.

12. Necromancers (Deuteronomy 18:11)  Ok, so the Bible was written by my friend Tony and I when we went back in time to research some shit for a new AD&D campaign I was writing.  And, well, we spread some bullshit around, basically, everyone back then would believe anything you fucking said, and, well, we took some liberty’s.  Necromancers.  NECROmancers.  DEADcharmers.  What the fuck is god saying?  He does not like people who make zombies, cuz, the last time I looked, there were no Zombies.  God knows I would love a zombie apocalypse as much as the next man, but, there are no fucking zombies.  So, like, Wikipedia says that it’s just talking to the dead.  Now that is fucking rich.  And there is more shit on divination, which, as we all know now, God hates.  But he does not hate Diviners, just Divination.  I just find that to be so significant I can’t stop pointing it out.  But Necromancers, well, put those fuckers next to the witches cuz God hates them too!  I really want to play some Baldurs Gate right now!  Any who, the witch of Endor (yes, she was an ewok) used necromancy to summon a dead prophet for a soon to be dead king.  But, technically, as soon as the witch used necromancy, she became a necromancer.  The bible times sound way more bitchin then today.  Witches, pig-fucking, necromancy, witches, charmers, wizards, witches, idols, blemished sacrifices, enchanters, witches!  I’ll pass on the homosexuality though, that’s going way too far.   
   
13. Transvestitism (Deuteronomy 22:5)  Which I may have been guilty of once for Halloween when Kasha talked me into dressing as a woman in 5^th grade.  I maybe did it again later but I never tricked any one like that guy tricked Bigby (pronounced Begby) in Trainspotting.  I like it when my girl pretends to be a guy, it’s hot.  She’s hot.  She doesn’t do it much, she thinks it’s creepy, and it is, almost as creepy as how much of a turn on it is to me.  Here we have God hating the idea of something though.  Note that he does not hate people doing it, he does not hate the people, he hates the idea of Transvestitism, like guys in burka’s...  I can see why this may be an important thing to squash out in Arabia.  Like most people I know.  My only exposure to a transvestite was at the Rocky Horror Picture Show, to which I went for real.  What happened to that guy? 

14. The hire of a whore (Deuteronomy 23:18)  Now this just isn’t fair.  They don’t do it for free!  This is also like a double negative; the hiring of someone who is defined by their hiring??  So, are they whores if no one hires them?  I love whores!  I think most of us are whores, it’s just the money doesn’t get to the whore directly anymore, it goes by way of Jared’s and Remax and Tijajuana Jones!  I love the idea of a guilt free romp that incentivizes both parties.  I think God may suggest here that we stiff our whores. Well I for one say no.  Pay these whores what they are owed!  I am glad God does not hate “guys who hire whores”.  This may also be some long-running indictment on the institution of marriage or like relationships in general, like, he could be saying, “I hate it when Jim has to turn to whores to get his dick sucked.” Like maybe there are just no more good girls in the old neighborhood, or maybe Susie doesn’t put a shine on that dick anymore, maybe she lacks the enthusiasm.

15. Remarriage to a former wife after she has been married to another man (Deuteronomy 24:4)  admittedly, this reads a bit like, “Susie’s brother Joe who is married to that bitch from Syria, has this friend…”  So, clearly, god does not want back into that pussy if there have been other dicks in it.  I think men everywhere agree, unless it’s fine, and then, we make our way back to the hire of a whore and we are back at square one again.  How about God hates cheating husbands?  How about, God hates guys who try to fuck the sister in laws?  Or how about, God hates guys who fuck their wives’ daughters from other men, so long as they were not married before they were married to the guy that gave them the daughter the original guy wants to fuck, cuz if so, gods gonna hate that marriage.  Just an observation, but if Child Molestation doesn’t show up soon on the list of things God hates, it may not be something God hates. 

16. Dishonest scales (Deuteronomy 25:13-16)  No argument here unless it’s is saying God lost ten pounds when he really didn’t and then, God should love that scale.  “Mary Jane, got that scale calibrated yet?  Every second it takes is a second this warehouse is a channel for all Gods hate.”  “Skip, if you don’t shut the fuck up and get away from me while I am working, Gods gonna hate this scale until you find someone else to fix it.”  “Mary Jane, are you wearing coveralls to fix that scale?”  “Skip, I swear to God Skip, one more word.”  “Mary Jane, you are practicing transvestitism while dickering around with a dishonest scale, you may want to go kill yourself, cuz God so completely hates you right now it’s not funny, so hurry up and go change your clothes, I wan’t to see crotch up your skirt when you work on MY scales woman!”   

17. Workers of iniquity (Psalm 5:5)  God hates people who work for a Danish death metal band?  Roadies?  God hates Roadies?  Or people (workers) who do bad shit.  He hates them.  Try it.  Say it with me once, “I hate workers of iniquity” Yeah, something isn’t right with this one.  Not sure what it is.  I was hoping for a lean towards inequality, but God gives equality two thumbs down.  Perhaps it’s another way to say god hates wickedness?

18. The wicked (Psalm 11:5)  Yes, the wicked are also hated by god.  I swear to god that was a coincidence.  Who are the wicked people, let’s find them today in our society, we can start with Hitler because a picture of Hitler came up when I typed Wicked, Sinner, Evil into the mouth of the internet.  This is awesome because I think it says somewhere in Isaiah how God hates Hitler already.  So, pretty much I don’t know what a wicked person is if it is different than a person who does not do everything God tells them to do.  God, this is quite a wide blanket of cold hate to throw on the childrens.

19. Those who love violence (Psalm 11:5)  yeah, so, I fuckin love violence pretty much.  I have like appeared in a couple spots on this list already, so, no wonder god does not answer my prayers.  I just want to say, I can’t fucking believe we made it through Deuteronomy, that sucked but it made me go stick in Excalibur.  That movie still rules.  Look, its Gabriel Byrne and a Neanderthal looking Liam and swinging tittied goddess Ms. Helen Mirren!  I just can’t say enough about how much I get off on violence, really.

20. The froward [perverse] (Proverbs 3:32)  “Hey Susie?”  “Yeah Jim?”  “Hey Susie, look at that froward son of a bitch sittin over there by the window.”  “Who, that froward bastard there?”  Yes Susie, that hated-by-God froward mother fucker.”  I looked it up.  There is no such thing as froward.  I think it’s The forward.  The mother fucking forward.  This is Sparta!

21. A proud look (Proverbs 6:16-17)  “Cuz I’m proud to be an American, where at least I know I’m free, and I’m proud to thank the men who died, and gave that right to me, and I’ll gladly stand up, next to them and defend her still today, cuz there ain’t no douououbt I love this place, God bless the usaaa!”

22. A lying tongue (Proverbs 6:17)  God hates my fucking tongue and he hates me..  I am so fucked.

23. Hands that shed innocent blood (Proverbs 6:17)  Ok, I almost said, whew!  Not guilty here, then I remembered, I had an abortion with the first woman I ever loved when we were both children.  I killed my child.  That is evil and worth being hated for and legit.  I will never forgive myself for it.

24. A heart that devises wicked imaginations (Proverbs 6:18)  So, back to a lighter topic, like, shit God hates and we are thrown up a couple spots back to the wicked.  So, who is gonna have a heart in them that devises wicked imaginations but the wicked?  “Hey Kirk.”  “Yes God?”  “Kirk, I fucking Hate you.”  “Jesus Christ God, that’s a little harsh.”  “Oh and Kirk.”  “Yeah God?”  “I fucking Hate your heart too.”  “Fuck you god, and its Captain Kirk you mother fucker.”  So, like, God does not hate people who tell him to fuck off, case you were wondering.  And I am pretty sure he does not hate scribes, so there.  “Hey Ms. Holiday.”  “Yes Mr. Dean?”  “Ms. Holiday, can you devise an imagination for me?”  “Devise a what?”  “Devise, you know, figure out, can you figure out an imagination for me?”  “Listen you freak, number one, your retarded.  Number two, No, just no.  Number three, only if you can eat an eat.  That help Mr. Dean?”  “Ms. Holiday?”  “Now what is it!”  “God hates the hire of a whore?”  This brings up a great question.  Can the heart think?

25. Feet that are swift in running to mischief (Proverbs 6:18)  There is paradigm shift here in gods record setting hate where he begins to sneak in partial body hate.  He slips in tongue, then hands, then a heart, now he is hating feet.  Not feet that step in shit and then walk on a white rug.  Not feet that kick balls.  Not feet that stomp necks.  Not feet that have bad fungus and are secretly dipped into drinks at expensive restaurants, but feet that haul ass towards mischief..  Couldn’t just be I hate it when you fuckers get all excited to break windows out and light cars on fire.  no it’s, I hate those feet of yours, you know, the ones you are running towards that window with a brick in your hand on?   Notice he doesn’t hate Timmy’s feet that are slow as fuck when they crutch along towards mischief, Timmy’s feet are cool with God.  

26. A false witness who speaks lies (Proverbs 6:19)  Guys, were like almost two thirds done with this horse shit master of the universe of hate list.  God does not hate a false witness that holds his tongue.  God also does not hate a person who speaks lies, so long as they do not witness falsely, however he will still hate that fucking tongue right out of their head.  I think everyone hates someone who lies on the stand, but when you think of it, our society is so rinky dinky we stand together and say, “ok, I know you killed her, you know you killed her, but don’t lie while we ask you questions for the next ten minutes to get you to admit it or try to determine if you should get the electric chair or not, ok?”  On an unrelated note, I want to make some shrinky dinks.  So here it goes, killer on stand, DA says, did you do it? Killer says no, God shouts down from heaven, I Hate you!  This is just killin me, I am laughing so hard right now you have no idea. 

27. Anyone who sows discord among brethren (Proverbs 6:19) I don’t think I have the energy for this.  Usually it’s the brothers cock-punching each other and fucking each other’s girlfriends and breaking each other’s shit and pissing in each other’s mouths when they are sleeping and dirt-doggin each other’s toothbrushes that makes brothers have “discord”.  I had two brothers and no one tried to get between us but each other.

28. Lying lips (Proverbs 12:22)  Oh shit, Tongue AND lips?  This is some serious shit.  Someone must have lied to God when he was a kid cuz he is not having this shit. 

29. The sacrifices of the wicked (Proverbs 15:8)  Something tells me that all the sacrifices of the wicked are blemished already and since the wicked and their hearts are already eating handfuls of God-hates-me sandwiches, when god leans down and says, “I hate your sacrifice” their like, yeah, yeah, I know.  I just can’t help but think that there needs to be some give in this war on the wicked and their tongues and lips and their imaginings and shit.  Like, how do you get back from being wicked if Gods shit-canning your blemished sacrifices all over hell and back?  Oh! Oh! I just thought of a new word..  sacrifeces.  Booya! 

30. The ways of the wicked (Proverbs 15:9)  Holy shit I need to start reading ahead, now their fucking ways are toast.  “Hey, look God, this is my way, what do you think?”  “I fuckin hate it”  “Dude, God, you didn’t even look”  “I fuckin hate your tongue.”  “My tongue?  What” “I hate your big soft lips too”  “God, are you trying to queer bait me?”  “I hate it when you let guys play with your dick.”  “What the fuck did you just say?”  “And I hate it when you play with dicks that are not yours, that is to say, I hate it when you play with a dick, and that dick that you are playing with is not your own dick, you know, the one you always play with, the one I attached to you and put in perfect reach of your hand.”  “Oh my god, oh my god, someone call the fucking police!”

31. The thoughts of the wicked (Proverbs 15:26)  Oh my GOD!  Their thoughts and their imaginings!  It’s now complete; it’s like when The Children of Hurin came out.  All the Hurin shit in one place, what a great idea.  There should be a Bible 2.0 The fucking wicked and their tongues and lips and ways, and imaginings and hearts and sacrifices and shit.

32. The proud in heart (Proverbs 16:5)  I just can’t wrap my mind around this one, any takers out there?  The scornful in heart get a pass, proud in heart get a shit sandwich made with all gods hate.  This would have been better if it had worked in the wicked somewhere, those fucking wicked are just takin it deep.

33. Those who justify the wicked (Proverbs 17:15)  Oh, shit, I have to go up where I Wrote Bible 2.0 The fucking wicked and their tongues and lips and ways, and imaginings and hearts and sacrifices and shit. and add and the fuckers who justify them!  Lol!  That is so rich!

34. Those who condemn the just (Proverbs 17:15)  Here we get some swing back towards rational thought.  I think you could grow your constituency on this.  “If you elect me for fucker, I promise I will condemn the other fuckers out there sittin around condemning the just.”  (cue roaring applause) 

35. Vain sacrifices (Isaiah 1:13)  I wanna get my sacrifice on.  I totally missed out on the sacrificing shit.  That sucks!  “Hey John, so were sacrificing these blemished fucking goats and shit while still being wicked and really having no intentions of unwickedinging ourselves.”  “Yeah, sounds like you’re sacrificing in vain Bill.”  “Hey, fuck you John.”  “Yeah, whatever, that pretty much makes you wicked-six-times-fucked so now your all around sextuple hated bill, so, you might as well fuck that blemished sheep before you kill it.”  “Good idea John, you want in on any of this poon mignon?”  “No Bill, I am not wicked, sorry.  All of my actions make sense to me.”

36. Feasts as Israel celebrated them (Isaiah 1:14)  Holy shit.  I thought Israel only became a real place in like 1919 or some shit?  “Going to the feast Jack?”  “What kind of feast will it be Karen?”  Well, this feast is gonna be a raw blood orgy in the manner of the romans at the peak of their evil fucking madness.”  “Count me in Karen, just so long as it’s not like those feasts that Israel celebrated, God and I hate those fucking feasts.”  “No worries there Jack, this feast will be pure fucking evil.”  “Nice.”

37. Robbery for burnt offering (Isaiah 61:8)  And here we see a difference between sacrifices and burnt offerings. Who in the fuck that is still living can explain the difference to us?  Other than the obvious distinction, I thought robbery was already covered by the ten commandments and shit.   

38. Idolatry (Jeremiah 44:2-4) Something tells me that wicked people do idolatry.  Just a guess. 

39. Evil plans against neighbors (Zechariah 8:17)  God has never met my neighbors.

40. False oaths (Zechariah 8:17)  Again with the lies.  I don’t think anyone likes lies and false oaths and shit, so, we are not total flushers.

41. Esau (Malachi 1:1-3; Romans 9:13)  Holy shit.  How would you like to be mentioned by name in the bible by god saying, “I fucking hate Jack Nicholson.”  I mean, where’s the dodge there?  That is some mercy free shit right there, that is original gangsta shit.  What are the chances he gets to heaven?

42. Divorce (Malachi 2:14-16)  Clearly god is other-guys-sperm phobic.  Two people don’t hate divorce, and those are the two unhappy fuckers getting one.

43. The deeds of the Nicolaitans (Revelation 2:6, 15)   Seriously, god is stepping up his shit since Malachi.  “Oh and by the way Mr. President.”  “Yes God?”  “I fuckign Hate Texans.”  “You and me both God.”  I guess technically he hates their deeds.  Imagine shouting that.  “Oooh I just hate your deeds!”  I have a five on the Nicolaitans being some wicked motherfuckers, any takers?

44. You shall not set up a sacred pillar, which the LORD your God hates (Deuteronomy 16:22). I was waiting for the sacred pillar!  I fucking hate that thing too!  Nice!  God saves it by calling out the pillar!  Just when you thought he was giving the pillar a pass.  Not this time pillar, you’re on notice.  When is the last time a sacred pillar got set up?  Anyone?  Anyone at all?

45. I hate, I despise, your feast days (Amos 5:21).  Dinner?  Is he talking about dinner?  I have never gone to a feast, again, wtf?  How bad could the cooking have been, really?  And what are we missing?  What went on at these feasts! 

46.  Your new moons and your appointed feasts My soul hates. (Isaiah 1:14).  Sweet Gregor Mendel, god is handing this fucker his ass and some 10^th level Hate of the Ages.  Unless by Your he means like, Bosnia.  Then it would make perfect sense.  Bosnian food sucks.  I Hate Bosnian food.  As for the New Moons, They are his moons right?  Or maybe it was like Month End.  He hated month end accounting shit, or New Moons was like another one of these feasts.

Don’t think for a second that god is this stupid.  People are fucking stupid.  The people who said this shit about god are stupid.  If there is a god, his commentary on this bullshit would be longer, funnier, more insightful, the dialogue would have ruled and something tells me, God has a wicked side too and is the author of humor and laughter and shit that generally makes you happy and this world not such a dark and dangerous place. 

Things I wish God hated, but apparently doesn’t cuz nowhere in the bible is it written that he hates them.  Plenty of talk about people with imaginary abilities, God totally hates those guys.

1.    People who prey upon, lonely, fearful, weak or otherwise impressionable people.  You may include/substitute the following for prey upon also; take advantage of, intentionally mislead, coerce, confuse, do not protect, abandon.

2.    People who enjoy the pain of others.  This would include emotional pain etc.

3.    People who kill people when it is not in the defense of themselves, loved ones or the people referred to in 1.

      I bet I could come up with some other things but I think if the Hate of God came with like a small caliber bullet to the stomach, it would mean more to people.  I think if all the people that fell into this category were shot in the stomach with a small caliber bullet and then treated as they have been treating that got them shot in the gut by God in the first place, I think you could maybe salvage some of those people.  I think that God could take those other people away, you know the ones that suck pretty much, and let them all suck together in some nether reality that could be small and easy to maintain and certainly much less effort to create then hell or outer darkness or heaven or limbo or whatever.    

...two friends will never be that lucky.

                They took my friend.  He is found by the police, arrested for crack whatever.  He is quite, sober and released the next morning.  I bring clothes for him when I pick him up at the jail.

                “just get in”

                He is different like people who have been raped are different to everyone but themselves.  He is in his head a little more, observant, some things are completely devoid of context for him, like how to get into my car.  He knows it’s a handle, knows how to open a door, get in, sit, buckle up, stay still till the car stops moving again and then get out..  he is just stuck somewhere in the beginning of the process and can’t un-stick.  I pop the door.  He won’t put the shirt or the shoes and socks on, holds them like a purse on his lap.

                The three burn holes behind his shoulder, the ruptured cornea, the blood in his shit and his piss, I put the puzzle together quickly.

                He maybe thinks he was sometimes but I run interference for him, he should never find out, no one should.  I layer a return to a life of drugs and violence into both of our lives to hide the tik’s, the fuzzy logic, the screaming, the psychosis.  Now he is just dangerous. 

                It happens twice more, and after the last time, he is bed ridden, blood won’t clot, can’t keep food down to heal, mind keeps resetting like a seizure, sending waves of peace to what internal shore?

                “drink it”

                “hooaa    thats good”

                I put the sippy cup and a cinder-block shelf by his mattress and leave for the day.  When I come back he is just gone.

                I have thought a lot about how and why and it goes nowhere.  It sucks when someone doesn’t want you to know something and they are powerful or clever enough to keep you from finding out.  I suppose I have changed too.  I don’t care if they get me, I know they won’t...