Thursday, August 25, 2011

Tony and justin show restraint after their abduction by aliens

“Can you pee?”

“No, you?”

“No.”

“It’s hard to fake hair.” One of the guys on the other side of the room says. We both look at him. Tony whispers now he’s talking, I whisper back yeah. I have to keep telling myself to relax, physically. Its just like this natural reaction to push against this shit, or I’m just doin it. I look at Tony. I imagine him doing it too, resisting.

“Dude.” I tell him, “You have to relax.”

“I heard that there are these giant computer brains, brains as big as cities just full of them.” Another guy says. I can’t see him but Tony can. He’s just around a corner. He sounds like some stupid old guy.

“It’s not a brain.” I tell him. “They were talking about people, alien people getting so advanced they created the world they lived in, like in a computer. That they only worried about real life things like avoiding asteroid collision and natural resources and shit, that they wouldn’t give a leaping fuck about anything outside the world, the universe likely, of their creation. He was saying that they would not be on the lookout for us. Why, they have everything they can imagine in an artificial world. We would think of it like online gaming and having rent and electricity paid for and someone bringing us in food, you know, like being a kid. No giant fucking brain, idiot.” I hesitated to throw the last part in but the guy, his tone, it just pissed me off. All I could think of was the rageful endangerer type in every zombie movie. Fuck him.

Tony looks at me and shakes his head no like I shouldn’t have said it, kind of like we might get in trouble, not physically but, you know, like with the wife or something.

“No I’m not gonna.” I tell him, “I saw the same show and this guy is retarded. That’s nothing close to what they said. This guy is, hey guy! You listening? You’re an Idiot!”

“Dude.” Again with the head shaking from Tony, I don’t know, maybe he’s right. Maybe we’ll need him before the end.

We did.

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